I’ve definitely had some very dark thoughts…”

I’ve been unemployed and underemployed. I’ve been able to pick up virtual meeting work, but the volume of it and the compensation for it is a drastic fraction of what I had prior to all the shutdowns. I’m working at the local CVS as a cashier, just to try to help make ends meet.
It really feels like I’m stuck in limbo and just the sheer helplessness of not being able to do what I’ve dedicated my life to professionally is very, very disheartening. Last year my father passed away. I couldn’t afford to go home to attend the funeral. That has weighed heavily on me. To have lost my father and my career, makes it tough to deal with. 
I’ve definitely had some very dark thoughts that I’ve had to steer myself away from. I don’t want to wind up, curled up in a ball, crying over the fact that this pandemic is not only taking lives directly, but taking lives indirectly.
In April of 1993, I became an audio visual professional.  That ended on March 7th, 2020 and since then I really haven’t been back in a venue. 
I really miss the companionship and camaraderie, and general community that we have in this industry… I really do want to get back to work.

Bryan H.